Sunday, February 21, 2010

Just a Quick Update

I can never thank all of you dear cyberspace friends enough for your wonderful words of support and love.  I truly feel your arms enveloping me when I most need it.  Who would have ever known that computers could have given me access to such caring people. 

I stayed at the hospital about twelve hours yesterday.  For most of it, my mom dozed on and off or fidgeted with her blankets in a sort of oblivion.  When I arrived, I found her restrained in a posey belt so I knew she had been giving them a bit of trouble during the night - and her IV arm was completely enveloped in cling bandage.  The nurse told me she had dislodged two IVs and had told them several times she was going home.  When I walked in the nurse asked mother, "Who is this lady?"  My mom did respond, "She's my daughter."  The first time in three days, she actually recognized me.  She also called me, "Carmen," once during the afternoon but, for the most part, she is still totally confused.

Her doctor stopped by later and said that her heart rate is still too high but is slower on the medication.  Her lab work, suprisingly, was not too far from normal.  A handsome young cardiologist came in about 4PM.  He does not want to continue her on anticoagulants after discharge, he says, because he fears the risk of falls in older patients and, on "blood thinners", that could create a problem.  He feels that, once the atrial fibrillation is under control, she won't be so at risk of forming clots.  I immediately knew the doctor was from India and asked him.  I was right, of course, and we had a nice chat about his country.  He was rather surprised that a Caucasian in Columbus, Georgia had such knowledge about so many things Indian, including the world of Bollywood movie stars.  He told me about the ONE Indian restaurant in my home town so I'll have to go there before I leave, I guess. 

So things are progressing and I have the task ahead, with my brother, of trying to figure out where my mom will be placed.  That will be daunting.  Each night, I sit here, alone in this apartment, thinking about disposing of all these belongings that have been part of her life and it overwhelms me.  It is like disposing of my mother, piece by piece.


  1. Oh Carmen...i truely can feel for is very hard and when you are in wonder if your life will ever return to normal...but it will...all you can do is take it a day at a time....

    you have the love of God ...and we are all here to support you through this too..we do care. i care.

    sending love and support


  2. i'll pray so that ur Mom gets well very soon..take care

  3. manuela3:53 PM

    Dear Carmen, my thoughts are with you and yours as you spend these last moments with your mother. You are very brave, and honest, and loving, - thank you for letting us share with you even if only a little bit.

  4. Oh, Carmen! I am so sorry! My heart breaks for you and for all of us who have this yet to face. I pray you will be strengthened and that you and your brothers will support one another with whatever decisions you must make.

  5. Oh, not an easy task handling your mother's things. Take a deep breadth and take your time in sorting things. You may want to put things in storage for a while longer.

  6. Carmen, I do hope your dear Mum is as comfortable as possible. Certainly know how you feel, as I went through the same with my Mum and MIL a couple of years back. Still, that's no comfort to you; it's a very sad time and you need hugs - HUGS, HUGS! Thinking of you.

  7. Wishing you and your brother the best as I know you are in for a rough time, it is not easy doing what you both have to do.

    I do hope your mother is resting more comfortable today....take care of yourself Carmen as you have some sad times ahead of you for sure. Will keep you in my prayers always,
    ........:-) Hugs

  8. Carmen, I am so sorry to hear your mother is in the hospital. I will be praying for her. I am so sorry you are two hours away. I should have looked at the blogs yesterday. I pray you will take care of yourself, as taking care of a loved one and going through all the stress of it is so difficult. You do have friends here in the blogdom. Take care. Trish

  9. Carmen, I am glad your Mom knew you, I wish you all the best with sorting out stuff. That will be hard for sure. Will keep you in my prayers. take care.

  10. That's a heart breaking task to do, Carmen. I can't image what must have gone through your mind. Sending love and hugs to you through this difficult time..

  11. Carmen, I missed your smiling face over on my blog, so I came over to investigate why you've gone AWOL - I'm sorry to hear that you find yourself in this position. Watching your parents age is not for the faint of heart. We've had some painful moments with my father and my grandmother in the last couple of months. I will pray for you to have peace and strength as you sort things out, that you will be able to find a good landing spot for your mom once she stabilizes.

  12. Carmen I was so sad to read the news about your Mom! I can really sympathize with you as my Mom while still healthy is in her late 80's and I see her body deteriorating before my eyes. I am the only child of four that lives near her so her care is mine and unfortunately my dealings with my siblings about that have not been pleasant. It is a stressful time but go with your instinct and remember to take good care of yourself.
    Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!
    ♥ Pat

  13. My Farmhouse Kitchen -
    Slow progress here. Mother was up in a chair for a little while today and she is clearing. She will go to Atlanta tomorrow for admission to an extended care facility. I am so blessed to have you and my other good cyber friends in my life.

    Priyanka Bhowmick -
    Keep up those good prayers. My mom is going to be very unhappy when she realizes she is not headed home tomorrow.

    manuela -
    It looks like my mother may well survive this episode and live a bit longer!! I wish she could go home but it will have to be to extended care in the Atlanta area but, at least, she will be nearer my brother and it will be easier when I fly in to see her...cheaper air fares and quicker for me to get there, without that extra two hour drive to Columbus.

    Karen -
    My utmost thanks for your good wishes and support.

    Lakeviewer -
    Most of my mother's jewelry has been recycled
    ( Alex, my second son gave Mom's engagement ring to his bride-to-be )and she gave us the rest of her special things a few years ago when she lost her eyesight. It's mainly disposing of books, furniture ( most of it older - but not antiques ). I think we'll offer it to shelters or Salvation Armys. I'm busy labeling all her clothing for the extended care facility. I hear that is essential!!

    Nana Trish is Living the Dream - please call me on my cell - 415-518-3450. I'll be in the Atlanta area ( Flowery Branch, that's Hall County after the 5th - flying out the 10th - my mother will be in the extended care facility which is part of Gwinnet Hospital - how far are you from either. Perhaps we can still meet.

    cinner -
    Keep praying. Her health is definitely improving but she will need help when we move her out of the hospital and away from the city she has lived in most of her life.

    Icy BC -
    I've cried so much, there are furrows down my cheeks...tears for my mom, for me, for the end of life in my home town...not sure I'll ever come back again.

    Nurse Heidi -
    Thanks for coming on a search for me. I've really missed keeping up with the blogs during this hard time...lonesome, really, without all my buddies and the great posts that nourish me and brighten my days. I appreciate your prayers!

    Pat@Milli Fiori Favoriti -
    Bless you, are always so nurturing. I am so relieved that my brother and his wife moved back to Atlanta from Florida just this December. Now he's stepping up to the plate to help with my mother. My sister-in-law, a nurse, spent the last ten years, commuting back and forth to FL, once a month, to see and help care for her mother who was in a nursing home and she is a big help...assisting my brother, a genius and a Mr. Spock type who has difficulty relating on an emotional level.

  14. oh so sorry, i didn't know I haven't been around the blogs for a while. Hope you are better now

  15. hoping your mom will be well set in her new place. hang on there friend

  16. I remember so well how heartrendering it was to say goodbey to my dad. He was ill for a long time and the day came when we realised that he would not heal and it was such a painful realisation. I guess a person never really makes peace with the fact that we only have so many years in this world before we, and our loved ones, must pass on. Carmen I have you, and your mom, in my thoughts and my prayers during this transition that you are both experiencing, whether it is a matter of days, weeks, months or years. I know, it is not easy. (((((hug))))).