Aloha, Beloved Merle - December 10, 2015

At this time of joy and festivity, my heart is filled with such sadness.  I just learned of the death of someone I loved deeply and held in much esteem.  I feel like I knew Merle Endo all of my life but we met only about fifteen or so years 

ago because of forensic nursing as I met so many dear friends.  Our encounters were infrequent - at conferences here and there, once for a day when my cruise ship was docked in Hilo, Hawaii and Merle spent a whole day with Sherry Arndt and myself, and, finally, a wonderful day when we were together in San Francisco for hours, playing tourist, taking dozens of photographs - not nearly enough of each other but, primarily of flowers and bugs, laughing and giggling about whether they could have "forensic value."

From our first meeting, Merle and I formed a close and loving bond.  The internet was our form of communication, especially in later years, with retirement, as we both traveled hither and yon.  

Merle touched the lives of so many people  She was an emergency room nurse at the Hilo Medical Center, then worked for the sexual assault response team of the Hilo Police Department.  She was one of the most caring and compassionate women I ever met.  She had the utmost respect of our colleagues of the International Association of Forensic Nursing.

I was in India from May until October this year, in a household with very poor internet connectability.  I managed only sporadic contact with this dynamic lady who constantly encouraged me to visit Hawaii, luring me with the promise of homemade lilikoi pie.  

When I read condolences on Facebook several days ago, I

was in complete disbelief.  I immediately went to Merle's FB page and scrolled down until I saw her last post to me, dated September 7:

Merle Endo

September 7 · 

Upping pain meds. Pain is unbearable, making me scream. Wish we had good permanent orthos on BI. To guard rt hip, now left is almost just as bad. Don't know how my friend Carmen dealt with all her bone problems and still traveled halfway around the world. Love you, Miss Carmen.

I love you, too, sweet angel of a friend.  I hate that you were suffering such terrible pain since the summer.  Your daughter tells me you were only diagnosed about three weeks ago and were to undergo chemo.  I guess the Lord chose not to have you suffer any longer.  

For me, you were the epitome of the aloha spirit.  I will never forget you and I pray that your friends and family will have courage to get through the days ahead.  I am so blessed to have known you.

Bing images

Bing images

Looking Back - October 24, 2014

Three years ago, I did it, 

I went through all my things,

Downsizing, giving away so much,

With necessity, retirement brings.

I found that I could do it,

By keeping treasures dear,

Telling myself I'd see them,

In some future year.

With super help from Jeremy,

My stalwart athletic son,

At last, it all was over,

My Canterbury life was done!

I finally boarded my flight,

Two months overdue,

A bedraggled weary traveler,

When those 7000 miles were through.

At last, I'd returned to India,

Fourteen years away,

But I felt at home with many friends,

Acquired each cruising day.

Four months I stayed with Santos,

And my lovely "family" there,

It made my life in India,

Begin without a care.

Next time I went to Jaipur,

A most amazing place,

With memories made and friendships,

That time cannot erase.

Back home to spend eight months,

With the sweetest grandchild ever,

Whoever knew a little girl,

Could be so very clever!!!

Who says that growing older,

Still can't be much fun,

I've realized a dream,

And I still am not quite done!!!

It must have been my destiny,

That Virginia Lynch and I were here,

To share ten days together,

In this country we both hold dear!!!

I've even found martinis,

That meet my discerning taste,

And I'm happy to report,

I've lost pounds around my waist.

As long as I can manage,

With my creaky joints and such,

I'll commute between two countries,

That I love so much!

Carmen Henesy

copyright Carmen Henesy October 24, 2014

Happy 47th Anniversary to my Beloved Friends, Beth and Luther Stanton

Luther was a classmate,

Fifty years ago,

Beth, an underclassman,

Found him a worthy beau.

An Army brat outsider,

I never fit in well,

At Columbus High in Georgia,

I was not a reigning belle.

Luther, then "most handsome,"

( Well, he had a lot more hair ),

Befriended me regardless,

And it just went on from there!

I left home out of high school,

Returning now and then,

And, when I did, I'd always find,

That duo I'd call friend.

Once, they moved to Houston,

Which worked out fine for me,

 I'd see them when I'd spend time there,

To visit my friend, Sandy.

They traveled west occasionally,

And we'd try to rendezvous,

Can't miss an opportunity,

With friends so very true.

Beth and Luther see the world,

And I'm a traveler, too,

Sad we've never gone together,

It's on my bucket list to do!

Beth and Luther were my rocks,

My last months with my mom,

While I coped with her illness,

They were like a soothing balm.

Once a Stanton loves you,

You're embraced by all the clan,

So I acquired extended family,

When this relationship began.

From gatherings to eat at Country's,

To a fattening catfish meal, 

To one of Beth's five star breakfasts,

Which has the most appeal!

I haven't any shred of doubt,

This marriage was meant to be,

The Divine Wedding Planner,

For all time, did so decree!

Forty seven years of love,

Seen in their happy smiles,

I send you my best wishes,

Far across the miles!

And, no, my good friend, Luther,

No money comes from me,

You'll get your share, Beth, will, too,

When I win the lottery!

Carmen Henesy

copyright Carmen Henesy July 1, 2014

Candy Crush Saga - June 19, 2014

Candy Crush Saga

I have a life long friend,

Who has meant the world to me,

We've always stayed in touch,

No matter where we'd be.

Camilla was my dorm mate,

Over fifty years ago,

In our freshman year of high school,

Which we said we hated so.

 In spite of being very strict,

With three study halls a day,

We  forged the strongest friendships,

And got in a little play.

We were together only 9th grade,

But if we were ever near,

We always saw each other,

And years seemed to disappear

During January, I visited Atlanta,

Spending five days with Camilla and Dave,

We shivered and reminisced together,

In the throes of an icy cold wave!

We had yummy venison sausage,

And martinis fit for a queen,

But she turned me into an addict,

On something totally unforseen.

Every night, she got out her computer,

And started frantically playing a game,

It's called "Candy Crush Saga," she said,

When I demanded to know the game's name.

But don't ever start, she admonished,

You will never be able to quit,

How right she was with her warning,

I am really having a fit.

I admit I am playing quite often,

And I don't find it very much fun.

No matter how fast my fingers are racing,

I can never pass twenty-one!!

Thanks a million, Camilla.

Carmen Henesy

Copyright June 2014 by Carmen Henesy

How India Began ( for me ) - August 29, 2013

I can remember, eighteen years ago, when India, for me, was just a mysterious 
country, far down on my list of places I wanted to visit.  I knew the beautiful Taj
Mahal was there and I'd read novels about the country but I'd never even seen a 
Bollywood movie.  I had, of course, been eating wonderful Indian food for most
of my life but I didn't have even one friend from that part of the world. 

On April 16, 1995, when I boarded the Monarch of the Seas, for a seven day
cruise from San Juan, all that changed.  I stopped by the ship's library to donate
the book I'd finished reading on the long flight and noticed the Champagne Bar
across the corridor.  I decided a drink was in order and that is when I met its
bartender, Odelio Santos.  No one else was in the bar so I stayed for a glass of
wine and a chat.

Much to my surprise, Santos, as  his name tag read, was from India.  I thought
he was from the Philippines.  We chatted about Mumbai, his life and family 
there and a friendship was formed.  Throughout the cruise, I went back to that
lovely, peaceful bar and got to know him better.  Besides that, he introduced me
to at least a dozen more Indian crew.  As I wandered about the ship, I realized
several hundred crew members were from India.  I thought how difficult it must
be to leave their families for six months at a time, to work so far from home.
I learned a great deal about India, its culture, and its problems from the crew,
many of whom have remained dear friends to this day.

In February 1997, prior to cruising from Thailand to Singapore, I spent ten 
days in Mumbai, at the home of Odelio Santos and his wife, mother and family. 
 I had really not foreseen visiting India and, had I not been invited, I might never 
have come to what I now call "the country of my heart.".  It was a wonderful ten 
days, passing much too quickly.  It was exciting for me to experience living at 
Sahar Village.  I was overwhelmed by the generous hospitality of the Santos
family and other people in the village.  I also got to see two other crew members,
Edsel Toscano and Sudhir Pillai, who were home for two months on leave. 

The grand finale of that visit was a trip with May Santos, the family matriarch, 
to Agra to see the Taj Mahal, one of the loveliest events of my life.  Words
cannot describe the magic of seeing its splendor for the first time.

Over the next eighteen years, I sailed eighty times with Royal Caribbean,
renewing Indian friendships every cruise.  Those crew members felt like
family and, indeed, they dubbed me "the American mother of the Indian crew".

When I decided to come to India again after my twenty-one year forensic 
nursing position ended in massive budget cuts to Public Health, Ode 
insisted that I stay with him and his family.  I spent four months at Sahar
Village, where people still remembered my first visit.  It was great to get
to know Nick, Ode and Lorna's twenty-year-old son, and Jake, who was then 
fourteen.

I am now back in India for the third time since my stay at the Santos household.
I spent five months living in Jaipur and, this time, I will be in Mumbai for six 
months, living with Rosy and Norman Toscano, Edsel's parents.  Never did I
dream that going on a cruise would afford me hundreds of very special friends
and new ones that I've met during my India stays.

I was just over to see Ode, Lorna, Jake ( Nick is working in Dubai ) and, of
course, their dog, Skip.  I couldn't believe the welcome I got from him.  I
thought he would not remember me but he greeted me so happily, almost
doing flips.

The years have been good to us, in spite of physical changes, of course.  Ode
and the whole Santos clan are my first Indian family and I love them dearly.  
Because of that fateful day in San Juan, I have actually gotten to experience
India as my home,  a place that has firmly embedded itself in my very soul.

Namaste.

Carmen & Ode, a friendship that has spanned almost two decades!

I wish I still weighed what I did when I took my first Royal Caribbean cruise...

but I'm working on that!  After 80 cruises and thousands of meals, Love

Connections ( my favorite ship board drink ) and midnight buffets, I'm glad

I've managed to discard forty of those pounds.

With beautiful Lorna, who always worried I wasn't eating enough!  She said 

Ode told her how I used to eat on cruises!  If I had kept that up, I would have

taken two seats on my flight to India!

With my nephew, Jake, who is now in college.  When I first visited Ode

and Lorna, he hadn't yet arrived on the scene!

Father and son

Mother and son

Jake Santos

and, of course, last but not least,

Skip

Thanks to One and All - Slowly But Surely, A Home Is Finalizing - Home, June 12, 2013

I cannot believe my stay at the J. K. Regency is now into its 8th day.  Two days
ago, the phone went out, supposedly because of the monsoon rains.  When
I want room service ( no restaurant here in which to eat but, somewhere in the
bowels of the hotel, someone cooks ), I have to call the front desk on my mobile!
I did my Trip Advisor review and I haven't really changed my opinion.  I would
never again stay here.

I've been out with two different brokers to see properties.  I specified, very 
clearly, my needs...among them, ground floor, or a lift.  The man, with whom 
I was out yesterday, took me to four places.  Three of them were on the 1st 
floor.  I can manage one flight of stairs but, when we came to the last place
and it was on the 2nd floor, I was furious and told him to get out of the rickshaw
and I headed home.  Besides, every property was disgusting - filthy, holes in 
the walls, trash on the floors.  I can't believe owners would show places like
that!  

The day before, the father of Edsel Toscano, a dear friend from Royal Caribbean
cruising days, went with me to see some places in Bandra where he lives.  He 
and I were both appalled at what we were shown, especially since Bandra is 
quite an upscale area.  Yesterday, Norman called and said his wife had been
asking around and their neighbor had a friend with a room to rent.  He came all
the way from Bandra to go with me to see the place which was in the home of a
lovely lady named Norma, a 67-year-old widow with a very nice home in a good 
location in Andheri West, one of the areas in which I was interested.  It is perfect
for me - bedroom with its own bath AND a separate entrance, use of the kitchen,
if I like, a washing machine and her company if I'm lonely.  We have much in
common and she was in the work force for many years and speaks perfect 
English ( though I need to learn Hindi ).  The only hitch is that the place isn't 
available till July 1.  Once again, the Toscanos to the rescue.  Their friend, who
lives next to them, offered a room in her place ( she is in Australia ) until the
first.  I don't know what the rent will be ( reasonable, I'm sure ) so I am out of this
hotel tomorrow.  

I need to do something special for Edsel who is also in Australia with his lovely
wife, Gisela, and their sweet little boy - and for his parents.  I will so much enjoy
spending part of the next two + weeks visiting with Norman and Rosie.  I was 
supposed to meet them last time I lived in Mumbai and I really regret that I 
didn't.  Now I will make up for lost time, being right next door.  I can see now why
Edsel is the sweetheart he is!

So, thanks to all of you who cheered me on, prayed, encouraged and kept the 
faith.  I was almost ready to give up.  I know this may well be my last time in India...
in spite of my ten year visa, I have to acknowledge I AM getting old!  I do hope to
visit my friends in Jaipur, Chandigarh, Delhi, Pune and Bangalore and to add a few 
new places to the list.  I may be going by bus or train, though, since it is so much
more economical.

Road are in great disrepair and flood easily during the monsoon rains

Business goes on as usual

At least, his umbrella isn't inside out!

Sweet children, living on the roadside and trying to stay dry

A common sight in front of shops as people clean their drains in 

an effort to prevent flooding

Fallen flowers everywhere

A yummy lunch to restore one's soul

I don't know what this is called but it was great!

The Hollands at Cafe Divine, San Francisco - May 5, 2013

What an incredible San Francisco evening!  The sun was shining brightly, with
temperatures near 70 degrees in the afternoon and San Francisco's North 
Beach was jamming.  My dear friend, Kris, picked me up and we headed to
Cafe Divine, one of my favorite spots on Stockton, to see the dynamic duo,
Sony and Jerry Holland perform.  They surprised us with an email announcing
a quick trip up from L. A. and I couldn't have been happier with this chance to
see them once more before heading off to India

Driving down Lombard Street - perfect weather!!

Old friends were in attendance and the food and wine, as always, were superb.  
Thanks to Milo for his great suggestion on the wine, a Domaine Santa Duc 
Digondas 2010 from France.  We really enjoyed it with our shared dinner - arugula 
salad with blue cheese, pears and walnuts, steamed mussels, penne with Italian 
sausage and grilled vegetables.  And, of course, we could not turn down the 
gingerbread cake and ice cream!

We were too busy eating to photograph any more of the food!

Sony and Jerry were fabulous ( when aren't they ).  They sang some of our old
favorites, including "I Was No Angel Myself" and "On a San Francisco High".
They always leave us feeling wonderful.  I've been so lucky this six months at 
home - I've gotten to see them six times!!  I just wish they would come and 
perform in India!

We had a special treat as well.  Our friends bought McKinley ( named after
the highest mountain in the U. S., Alaska's Mt. McKinley ), whose nickname is 
"Mac".  He's the sweetest Siberian husky who joined their family when their 
beloved, Sabrina, after enriching their life for fifteen years, went to Husky 
Heaven.  Mac is so smart, having already learned so many tricks.

It was a perfect celebration for the one month date before my arrival in India.  I

have enjoyed my long stay at home, got a brand new pain free left shoulder,

and my sweet first grandchild arrived a week early on April 14, 2013, with all

of us there.  I'm ready now, though, for good Indian food, seeing my friends

there and, hopefully, losing 20 more pounds.  If I can get down to 200 pounds,

I'd be delighted.