Saturday, April 03, 2010

Saturday Ramblings - 4-3-10

I woke up early this morning, for some reason. This house has been eerily quiet with the three male residents away in Las Vegas for Alex's bachelor party. I never realized how much noise three testosterone filled young men can make! I guess I've just gotten used to the loud shrieks of laughter or heated debates or - heaven forbid - wrestling matches - ensuing from upstairs! I guess that's why, when Jeremy asked me if his lifelong friend, Jorell, could move in with us, I didn't bat an eye. He was almost like a son, anyway, and Alex had moved away after high school so we were a boy short in this house. Jorell's the quiet one, anyway - or, should I say, the quietest of the three. After Tuesday, when Shawn reports to Travis AFB, I won't hear his guitar strumming at all hours of the day and night. It's been part of my life as long as I can remember. Maybe I'll have to get him to make me a CD to comfort me while he's away. Uh oh, I'd better stop that or I'll be crying again. Or I'd better get all the tears done before the kids get home tomorrow night. I don't want to cry in front of Shawn.

I think I'm taking the gang to dinner at Manivanh on Monday night, just in case Shawn doesn't get back down before they deploy. It's a Thai restaurant, owned by a Laotian family, that have become friends over the last fifteen years. I'm going to write a blog about them sometime since they are truly special to me and signifigant in our lives. Every important occasion in our family has been marked by dinner there - birthdays, graduations, losses - including my job. I love the
Douangpanya family and it is only fitting that Shawn's farewell dinner be there in the midst of chicken wings, duck salad and the Carmen's Special ( I even have my own dish which is eaten by hundreds of San Franciscans! ).

I cannot believe my suitcase lies here unpacked, for over a week.  I'm in some kind of state of inertia ( well, okay, laziness ).  I've hardly stepped outside the house.  I've not even put on eyeshadow so, of course, I cannot go anywhere.  I have spent useless hours on the internet, playing FARKLE.  It is pretty sad, too, since, yesterday, I had two million points and, today, I am down to one hundred.  It is a good thing I am not playing for money. 

I am supposed to be working on a poem to be read at the wedding reception of my son, Alex, and his lovely bride-to-be, Laura.  For some reason, I have writer's block.  There is so much I want to say but I need to keep it brief.  I want there to be some humor but I want to convey how much I love this child and how happy I am that he chose such a wonderful girl ( oh gosh, here go the tears again - what is wrong with me? ).  I've come up with random verses over the last few weeks but, did I write them down?  Of course not.  That would have been too smart and I'm not functioning that way these days. 

My brother called yesterday from the extended care facility in Gwinnett, Georgia.  He had my mom in a wheelchair, sitting outdoors in the warm sun.  She is no longer going to rehab as she would not participate - I don't really think she is capable of doing so.  She is so sedated, she falls asleep constantly.  Sadly, that means she cannot ambulate.  She did, however, feed herself the other night when Charley was there and she finished her entire meal.  Apparently, the food is quite good and there is a pretty extensive menu selection which I filled out for her before I left.  Charley said she loved the okra and tomatoes....good old Southern cooking!

I will see my good friend, Joanne Olivieri, poet and blogger, and fellow jazz aficionada, for an
Easter breakfast tomorrow and a consultation about publishing my first book of poems.  She's just done her third book, this time on  It's wonderful - "Nameless Faces" - but I would expect only the best from her.

Thank you all so much for your support during this time, with my mom's illness and Shawn's imminent deployment to Afghanistan.  It means so much to me.

Blessings to each and every one of you at this Easter and Passover season.  May you share it with those you love.


  1. Oh, I so understand that inertia with the suitcase. I've been there so many times. I think maybe we try to stop time by not doing it. I've barely met you but I sense that your wedding toast poem will be lovely. It will come to you at the right time, because you seem to be that kind of Mom, and that kind of writer. You have a new friend in your corner cheering. Happy Saturday, and blessed Resurrection Day to you tomorrow.

  2. It's nice, it's great news... oh that being alone ... enjoy yourself sister!

  3. I, too, understand your inertia. But you'll do it all, I know you will and you'll write a superb poem, because you always do! Thoughts are with your Mum, too. Happy Easter from Sicily. xx

  4. Your plate is full! Enjoy your family and friends on such an important holiday.
    Happy Easter.

  5. So sorry everything is so hard right now. I understand the feelings you're having. I hope the rest of your weekend is filled with lots of love and fun.

  6. Hi Carmen..gosh I still feel so bad about missing you in March..but such is life, I guess.

    Wishing you a quiet and peaceful Easter as well, my friend...



  7. I am sorry that everything is a bit heavy right now.....I will pray for your son's safe return and that your mother know only love and contentment during this journey of her life.
    Be well my friend....Happy Easter......:-) Hugs

  8. Happy Easter, Carmen, wow, you are seeing Jo again, hope to meet you two someday too.

  9. I send you a warm kiss right on you cheek from over the sea, Carmen.

  10. Happy Easter Friend!!!

  11. a blessed easter day to you and yours....

  12. Tina -
    It is so nice to have you visiting my blog. I so appreciate the good thoughts and support! I know I will get the poem done. I seem to work best under pressure!

  13. Dulce -
    Actually, it's been nice having quiet time..though I did go out for breakfast today with my dear friend, Poetic Shutterbug and, delight of delights for this Georgia girl, the place had GRITS.

  14. Welchcakes Limoncello -
    I am doing some constructive things - my suitcase is almost unpacked...and I started the poem for Alex - well, the title, anyway! And I had a nice limoncello last night. I keep forgetting it is in my refrigerator downstairs, about five feet from my bedroom. Now that I remembered, it won't last long.

  15. lakeviewer -
    No family around for the holiday but I had a nice breakfast with my friend and mentor, Poetic Shutterbug. She said I looked like an Easter egg ( my blouse and eyeshadow ). We live less than five miles apart but, since our jazz friend moved to L. A., we seldom get to see each other!

  16. My Farmhouse Kitchen -
    Perhaps, once Teddy has arrived and you've gotten to know each other, we can meet somewhere halfway and you can bring Teddy to meet me!

  17. Bernie,
    Thank you so much for all your love and support. When we had our care conference at the nursing home, we said that our goal for her was that she be pain free and as comfortable as possible. We don't expect miracles. It is a good place and they do very well by her. This stroke is what created the dementia which she didn't have prior. That is what is so sad to see.

  18. betchai -
    Jo and I would be so thrilled if you could visit us here in San Francisco. We would take you on a real photography adventure!

  19. fullet -
    My young friend, since my boys are busy at their "bachelor party" in Las Vegas, I do appreciate that sweet Easter kiss. I called the groom-to-be yesterday at 6PM ( he's not much of a drinker ) and he said they were having fun
    ( all 20 of them though he spent part of the early morning hours in the bathroom - too many tequila shots for him, the novice drinker )

  20. steviewren -
    I am slowly coming out of the doldrums, getting a little bit accomplished. My Easter breafast with Poetic Shutterbug was wonderful and she gave me good tips on getting my first poetry book published. I am beginning to believe it is a possibility.

  21. Donna -
    Hope you got lots of Easter goodies in your basket!

  22. beth -
    Thanks for the Easter wishes. I can't wait to see what pictures are next on your blog. They are always special as are your thoughts.

  23. More changes in store for you, I guess. How neat that you and Jo are real life friends too!