Alphabe Thursday - "S" is for Sad and Scared - February 17, 2011

"S" Is for Sad and Scared

I try to keep a smiling face,

To paint my eyes so merrily,

So people miss the pain inside,

And the fear that's haunting me.

For two years now, I'd hoped,

There might be some reprieve,

But the time has finally come,

It's been only me that I deceive.

I must give up my home,

Packing boxes lay about,

I'm glad it's just a rental,

Or I'd really scream and shout.

First you lose your job,

Then your home of thirteen years,

Then you're overwhelmed,

With a million different fears.

It's time I sorted things,

There is much to throw away,

What my sons consider "junk",

Means more than I can say.

Some are special treasures,

From friends beloved by me,

Others are parts of distant lands,

That I was blessed to see.

I know not where I'm going,

Only that I'll be alone,

My life will be far different,

Than I have every known.

I used to be adventurous,

And could easily switch gears,

But now that I am sixty-six,

I'm overwhelmed and full of fears.

I have so many aches and pains,

And, though I know it isn't true,

I feel like such a failure,

In all I tried to do.

I loved my work and did well,

And raised three sons alone,

But, there are times of late,

I feel I'm in a combat zone.

I've lost my "joie de vivre",

I hope it can be found,

I'm afraid I look as gloomy as,

A long eared basset hound!

I guess I will get through it,

It's just a bit more strife,

That's sent to prove my mettle,

And where I go in an after life! 

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c) Carmen Henesy

February 17, 2011

I am participting in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday - check out the site and join in the fun!