Thursday, February 17, 2011

Alphabe Thursday - "S" is for Sad and Scared - February 17, 2011


"S" Is for Sad and Scared

I try to keep a smiling face,
To paint my eyes so merrily,
So people miss the pain inside,
And the fear that's haunting me.

For two years now, I'd hoped,
There might be some reprieve,
But the time has finally come,
It's been only me that I deceive.

I must give up my home,
Packing boxes lay about,
I'm glad it's just a rental,
Or I'd really scream and shout.

First you lose your job,
Then your home of thirteen years,
Then you're overwhelmed,
With a million different fears.

It's time I sorted things,
There is much to throw away,
What my sons consider "junk",
Means more than I can say.

Some are special treasures,
From friends beloved by me,
Others are parts of distant lands,
That I was blessed to see.

I know not where I'm going,
Only that I'll be alone,
My life will be far different,
Than I have every known.

I used to be adventurous,
And could easily switch gears,
But now that I am sixty-six,
I'm overwhelmed and full of fears.

I have so many aches and pains,
And, though I know it isn't true,
I feel like such a failure,
In all I tried to do.

I loved my work and did well,
And raised three sons alone,
But, there are times of late,
I feel I'm in a combat zone.

I've lost my "joie de vivre",
I hope it can be found,
I'm afraid I look as gloomy as,
A long eared basset hound!



I guess I will get through it,
It's just a bit more strife,
That's sent to prove my mettle,
And where I go in an after life! 

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c) Carmen Henesy
February 17, 2011

I am participting in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday - check out the site and join in the fun!




 


26 comments:

  1. Praying that all will work out well for you, it will work out sweetie, one way or another it always does. Be strong....sending big hugs...:-)

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  2. This is so touching. I find your sense of humour in these lines and hope you won't loose it.

    You are right: it ISN'T true! Kisses.

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  3. So sorry if your poem is real life and you are in my prayers.

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  4. Oh, Carmen. My heart goes out to you. We lost our dream home 3 years ago and had to move suddenly from our rental home a little over a year ago. We have found a place that works for us and I am praying you do, too.

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  5. Oh Carmen. I'm sorry. I'm a deep roots gal myself, and it would be really hard for me to move. I can only imagine the anxiety and frustration you're feeling!

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  6. "I guess I will get through it,
    It's just a bit more strife" of course you will....Loved your write and your amazing blog!
    Life

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  7. sadness could keep us down.

    Glad to see you survive those.
    delightful read.

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  8. Carmen, I am sooo sorry! You certainly have a lot on you right now, but you still manage to write your poem! There is hope!!

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  9. Hang in there Carmen, we hear you.
    Kat

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  10. One of my dear friends just lost her home also due to no fault of her own and it is just breaking my heart...

    Hang in there sweetie and don't stop writing!

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  11. Hello! This has to be one of the most honest, candid and heartfelt posts I've read. Please know there are many people pulling for you! I'm one of them.

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  12. it must be heard, but try and look for positives in this change. change is never easy, but you have just got to see the good in it ... somehow!

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  13. Where flowers bloom so does hope.

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  14. Your poem is beautiful and raw. Thank you for sharing.

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  15. Carmen I'm so sorry that you may have to move and downsize. I know how difficult that must be. I'm hoping that it will all work out for you and that better days are ahead. {{{ Hugs}}}

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  16. thinking of you ...and praying for you too! please let me know how I can help. miss you...xxoox Elaine

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  17. Is this reality or is this a poem?

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  18. Carmen, think the biggest, warmest bear hug. Erase your doubts. You can do it, you can. You know you can cause you have. Peace and love to you.

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  19. May you recover and remain strong from all that knocks you off your feet. x

    Saw this and thought of you.http://www.online-writing-jobs.com/jobs/freelance-medical-writing-jobs.php

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  20. Carmen...this poem leaves me with a heavy heart. I wish you all the BEST....and am sending love...

    Kary and Teddy
    xxx

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  21. Carmen, I'm very sorry about all of this. Life is tough sometimes, but hang in there, you went through most of it already, and a little more would only strengthen your will..

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  22. Oh, I'm so sorry. I admire you for being able to make art out of your own distress.

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  23. It is really sad and I am so sorry. That doesn't sound enough, somehow.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  24. Oh Carmen, I am so sorry.

    You have been so heroic throughout this...

    I'm so sorry, but those small words feel very ineffectual in light of this much loss.

    Sending hugs and a prayer your way.

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  25. You put your feelings so beautifully in these words....I am too young to say words of wisdom but my 36 years of life and its experiences have thought me to see the things I still have...loved ones...friends near, afar...my mind intact and a healthy life with enough money to life normally...You have sons who care for you, a job you liked, travelled the world...lived a full life, I can't even say that for myself...maybe its time to sit back and enjoy the life you have craved for yourself.

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