Harper Ann Is a Year Old! - April 16, 2014

It hardly seems possible that a year has gone by since the night we spent at the
Sutter Roseville Birthing Center waiting for my grandchild's arrival.  While Laura 
labored, her mom, all three of my boys, and another friend passed the time 
alternately chatting, snacking, and dozing, until, shortly, right before 7AM,
everyone but my son, Alex, Laura, the OB nurse and the obstetrician remained
for the big event.  

April 13, 2013 

The proud father-to-be, Alex Vukasinovic, with his brothers,

Shawn Smith ( the short one ) & the Jeremy Vukasinovic

Shortly after 7AM, we were called back into the room where, thrill of thrills, I met
my beautiful GRANDDAUGHTER, Harper Ann Vukasinovic, for the first time.

Of course, to me, she was the most beautiful baby ever and I was so happy to see a

little girl after having raised three sons!  Uncle Jay was already making plans to take

her fishing and to teach her to shoot a gun and to take her to a 49ers game while I

was picturing her in cute dresses and taking ballet!

I only got to see her for six weeks before it was time for my return to India.  Alex

dutifully downloaded Skype but he wasn't so great at staying in touch so I could see

Harper.  Laura did send videos of the major firsts...her cute smile, rolling over, etc.

I did get back home December 3 and I've been staying with the family in West

Sacramento, luxuriating in four months now of being a full time grandmother.  It's

been a delight seeing this baby crawl, learn new words, grow by leaps and bounds

and bond with her Nana.  If I am not out in the morning, she will crawl outside my 

door and howl until I respond, then she is all smiles.  She has a voracious appetite

( like her Nana ) and there doesn't seem to be a food that she has been offered 

that she doesn't like ( except, perhaps, raw mushrooms ).

The night before Harper's birthday party, Harper's two uncles, her "abuela", Elmira,

who had taken care of Uncle Jeremy and her dad almost from the time they

were born and Uncle Shawn's friend, Kim, came for dinner.  Uncle Jay

brought the most incredible cake his friend from Genintech made for

Harper.

It was almost too beautiful to cut but, believe me, it was so delicious!

Her first birthday party was held this past Sunday, the day before her birthday.  Her

Uncle Shawn was home from six months in Kuwait so we were all together for the

occasion, just as we were for her birth.  It was a lovely event, on a bright sunshiny

day, held in her Nene's backyard in Antelope, California.

I decided to wear an Indian outfit for the occasion.

Uncle Jay was all smiles.

Uncle Shawn was catching up on his beer drinking after six dry months in Kuwait.

Here come Mom and Dad with the cake!

Harper was lovely in her frilly pink dress and she enjoyed playing with her

cousins and was wide eyed at all the gifts.  Most of all, she seemed to delight

in devouring her birthday cupcake and frosting.   All the hoopla was a bit 

exhausting, though, for a little one-year-old.

Mary Frances McGee Quinlan - My Mother - April 1, 2014

I received a call from my brother, Charles Henesy, a few hours ago, notifying
me that our mother, Mary Frances McGee Quinlan died in her sleep at 4AM
this morning at Gwinnett Extended Care Center in Lawrenceville, Georgia.
May she rest in peace.  

Her body was sent to Emory University, her decision many years ago.  She was 
always a very determined lady and, would never have gone into a nursing home
if she had been in control.  Until the stroke that felled her, she had lived the
previous eighteen years in a duplex, growing increasingly less able to care for
herself because of macular degeneration and beginning dementia.

Mother was one of thirteen children, the daughter of Mississippi sharecroppers.
She grew up, knowing backbreaking labor, picking cotton.  Her mother died
when she was twelve and her father soon remarried.  He died shortly thereafter.

She was an avid student, however, and did very well at Pelahatchie ( Mississippi )
High School.  She then went to nursing school in Columbus, Georgia where one of
her brothers lived.  She left nursing school in her final year to marry Charles
Henesy, an army lieutenant at Ft. Benning and, later, went to work for Dr. Otis
Gilliam.  Her marriage did not last and I remember our living for some time in
the poorest of housing projects.  Dr. Gilliam was her employer for many years,
a kind country general practitioner who even made house calls and took me
along as his "nurse" occasionally.  He was the reason I became a nurse.

Mother eventually married Daniel J. Quinlan, another Army officer who was 
like a father to my brother and me.  Ultimately, my mother and he divorced.

I remember my mother as being very smart, hard working and dedicated to 
my brother and me. She did not have a wealth of friends.  She loved canasta
and we played when I was very young and all my life.  She taught her grandsons,
Alex and Jeremy and, every visit to Georgia, we would play for hours.  Shawn
missed out.

Mother was an avid reader and she loved poetry.  She always encouraged my
writing and, one of my greatest regrets, is that I did not complete my book of 
poetry when she was able to be aware of it.  She would have been very proud 
of that.  She did not like to travel but she did come to San Francisco for a few
weeks every summer to escape the Georgia heat.  As a young Army wife, though,
she lived in Austria ( my brother was born there ) and she spent six months in
Thailand with my stepfather.  She never could understand my love for travel.

After my nursing position with San Francisco ended, I was able to go to Georgia
on five different occasions to spend a month with her.  It was on my final visit
that I found my mother sitting in her favorite recliner, speaking unintelligibly, unable
to answer my questions.  I had previously been notified by a lady who did her
weekly grocery shopping that mother had not been taking her medications.

After five days in the hospital, my brother drove her to Gwinnett Extended Care,
part of an excellent medical complex where Susan, my sister-in-law, had 
worked in Same Day Surgery.  Mother remained there until her death, receiving
superb care.  She was so fortunate to be close to Charley and Susan and
her grandsons, Chris and Matt Henesy, and two beautiful great grandchildren, 
Liam and Britt Henesy.

I can never thank my brother and his wife enough for their continued love and
care of my mom during the past years she has been in extended care.  

I am just glad I made that trip to the South in January so I got to see my mother
one more time, the week of her 90th birthday.  For just a brief minute, she 
recognized me, saying, "I know that voice," and, after I told her it was Carmen,
her daughter, visiting, she said, "I love you," something I rarely heard from her in
her lifetime.

Mary Frances McGee in her 20's

Mary Frances McGee Quinlan in her 30's

These two photos were the last of me and my

mother, taken in January 2014, a week before

here 90th birthday 

No Coal in My Stocking But a Flare Up of Kidney Stones - December 3013.

I spent the last two Christmases in far off India so I was looking forward to a 
change of pace and sharing the holiday with my bouncing, cheerful 
granddaughter, Harper Ann.  While all three of my sons would not be gathered
for the occasion ( Shawn, the oldest, is on Air Force duty in Kuwait ), Jeremy,
my youngest, drove up from San Francisco and we had a special Christmas
eve dinner at Laura and Alex's.  Harper Ann, of course, was the star of the
evening in her "waiting up for Santa" pajamas - though she was snug in bed
about 9PM.

I added a "baby's first Christmas ornament" with Harper's name on it to the 

tree which smelled wonderfully but was fast losing it's needles.  At 8-1/2-months,

Harper was easily diverted from the gifts by a shiny red bag filled with gold paper 

which kept her amused, no matter how often she reached for it.

Needless to say, with my three sons, football is going to be part of this young lady's

life.  Here she is sporting the San Francisco Forty Niners hat her Uncle Jer gave

to Laura.  Nicest of all is that Uncle Jer won the fantasy football pool this season

and donated it to start Harper's college fund.  I can't imagine what college will 

cost when she is a freshman.

Slowly but surely, there is a little bit of hair sprouting on that head.  She has bright

blue eyes and, for the most part, she's cheerful and happy - HOWEVER, Harper

can certainly exercise her lungs and let you know when she is displeased.

I just couldn't resist this little outfit - though she only got one day's wear out of

it.  After all, there is just one FIRST Christmas in a granddaughter's life.  I am so

glad I was home for the occasion.

Much to my dismay, however, early in the wee small hours of Christmas day, as

Santa was still soaring over the tree tops, I'm sure, I woke up with the first twinges 

of right flank pain.  They kept increasing in severity and, even after medication 

and drinking a couple of gallons of water, I knew I was in for a bout of renal colic.

I've had kidney stones for about fifteen years, have had lithotripsy twice withour

success, and have learned to live with them, for the most part.  If I stay adequately

hydrated, I'm usually fine but I guess I had been remiss with my water intake.  

For most of Christmas day and the next, I stayed in bed, missing most of the

festivities.  I did, however, manage to get up long enough for unwrapping of 

gifts and enjoying watching Harper Ann tear into the paper, ribbons and nibble

on all the gift tags.  While the rest of the family went off for Christmas dinner,

I stayed home with the granddogs and thanked my lucky stars I, at least, 

didn't have to head to the emergency room.

"Unlce Jer - sometime I call him Uncle J - says he is going to teach me all the

important  things like how to crab and fish and shoot a gun.  I ike it because he

reads to me from the Spanish books my mom buys.  He speaks Spanish

better than Dad or Nana."

"I know Nana was glad to have a granddaughter...she tells me that all the time.

I think she is worn out from having three sons.  Besides, I can wear cute clothes

like purple hats.  I like all my presents but I really liked chewing on the tags."

"Nana REALLY does take a lot of pictures...not just of me but of everything."

"Ohhhh, I knew this was a Spanish book - "El Camioncita Azul" or something

like that - because Mom said Uncle J had to read it to me.  Nana said that,

someday, he will take me to Barcelona, one of her favorite cities or, maybe,

even to Cuba!"

Well, that was my Christmas.  I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday and that

it did NOT include coal or kidney stones.

Blessings and may 2014 be filled with love, properity, happiness and peace.

Happy 43rd Birthday, Shawn - December 17, 2013

Well, my dear first born, it seems like we are missing each other on many of
life's important occasions.  You missed Alex and Laura's wedding by about a
week because you were pulling Air Force duty in Germany.  At least, when Harper 
Ann was born, all of us were there, camping out in Laura's "birthing room".  I will, 
forever, cherish that photo of you, Alex, and Jeremy, my three sons, camped out, 
awaiting the arrival of that precious little girl.  

Your two younger brothers tower over you by about six inches but you never let them 

forget who is boss - and, rightly so, since, for much of their lives, you played both

the father, as well as big brother role.  I could not have managed without you.

It's kind of sad that, this year, with me home for Christmas, Uncle Sam has you in

Kuwait!!  Oh, well, that's life.  We will really be missing you at the festivities and 

we are certainly thinking about you today on your 43rd birthday.

I didn't have time to go through storage to find baby pictures of you and, sadly,

in last year's computer demise in India, many that I had were lost.  I found a few

that I am including from recent years here.  You always did say I was death on

computers but I think the last was because of all the summer power outages

during Jaipur's monsoon season.

Even though you've always said you'll never marry and have children - "I've 

already raised two sons ( in reference to Alex and Jeremy ), I think you look quite

fatherly in this short with your niece, Harper.

You may not remember this shot but it was taken a few years ago when Alex was

down and brought the dogs to visit.  You were tormenting Bucky with your guitar

playing.  For some reason, in his opinion, music did NOT soothe the savage beast

and he did not stop barking till you stopped playing.

Just to make you homesick in far away Kuwait, here is a photo from Christmas

2010, before I started making my trips to India ( forty pounds ago!! ) and pre-

Harper.  We'll drink a toast to you this holiday and celebrate when you get back

( though I will probably be in India again - but not for six months this time.

Be safe, son.  I am blessed to have you and your two wonderful brothers.  We are lucky

that Alex chose Laura and now we have the most precious baby in our family.

What a special 43rd birthday for you and a wonderful Christmas for our family.

I love you!!!

Happy 29th Birthday, Jeremy Vukasinovic - November 2, 2013

Jeremy is my "baby" - all 6'4" of him.  He weighed in at birth at over 8 and a 
half pounds and I was able to deliver him without too much trouble, believe it
or not!!  He remained bald headed for a full year but many times, especially
in later years, he has sported the most wonderful curls, one batch going to
Locks for Love.

I can't seem to find any of his baby pictures here with me in India so I'll show
you some of his more recent ones.

This has always been a favorite of mine...with Alex, two years older,

at the Golden Gate Bridge

Jeremy has never lived very far from home.  He spent three years at the College

of San Mateo where he got an associates degree in Liberal Arts and his A.S.

in Fire Technology.  He always wanted to be a firefighter.  He went from San 

Mateo to Cal Poly, 250 miles away, in the beautiful area of San Luis Obispo.

There he got a degree in kinesiology.  From there he became employed in the

semiconductor field and, now, for the past two years, he's been at Genentech in

South San Francisco.  I'm afraid that job may take him away since he is being

considered for a new position outside the Bay area.  When I expressed my 

dismay at "losing" him, he laughed and reminded me that I am often seven

thousand miles away in India.

Here, on a cruise, big ( ?  brother, Shawn, is trying to teach him smooth moves

With his beer at the Locks for Lover hairdresser

I think this may well have been Jeremy's shortest haircut

ever - at brother, Alex's wedding...Shawn, big brother, sadly,

was in Germany with the Air Force and had to miss the occassion

Of all my sons, Shawn and Jeremy seem to have developed my love of 

travel.  Much of Shawn's has been compliments of Uncle Sam, via the Air

Force, but Jeremy has already seen much of Europe and Argentina ( as a 

college employee of a pharmaceutical company ) and he speaks Spanish

better than many natives.  He has a real sense of adventure and he likes

good food and wine.  He, unlike me, is very much health oriented and has

worked hard to help me develop healthier habits.

This is Jeremy and his Cal Poly buddy, Daniel...I'm 

posting this for Eileen Dryer who always puts up 

firefighter pics...I think he would have looked good

in a calendar

Jeremy is quite an achiever and he likes to remind his brothers - both of 

whom stretched college years out to over a decade - that he managed to 

graduate by the age of 24 ( making the Dean's list, no less ).  He's done

very well in the corporate world though he still would like to be a firefighter!

Mom with the three best sons any mother could have - 

Shawn ( the shorty ), Alex, and Jeremy

Jeremy with his other mother, Elmira Lopez - she came to us when

Alex and Jeremy were infants - I wanted someone who was monolingual 

Spanish so they grew up fluent in another language - and she was family to us -

and a lifesaver to me with my crazy call schedule - and what a terrific cook!!!

The all night Harper Ann vigil ( post epidural )

Mommy and baby are doing fine!!!  Proud papa and uncles

UNCLE Jeremy meets niece, Harper Ann Vukasinovic - I think it 

was love at first sight

Already, Jeremy has his niece checking out San Francisco's bridges

There is no question, I owe this young man a lot.  First of all, he almost single handedly 

moved me from my four bedroom home when I decided to come to India.  He made 

about a hundred trips to the dump, broke down furniture, loaded things into storage, and

kept me focused so I finally got to India, after changing two airline reservations.  He's

been the one to check my mail, send my medications when it's refill time, visit me in

the hospital and help me when I need it.  He's drawn the short end of the straw, poor kid,

with Alex two hours away in West Sacramento and Shawn playing Air Force.  I've

had an occasional lecture ( much needed ) from him, as well.

All this he did, after having undergone shoulder surgery at the end of his Division 1 Cal

Poly decathlon career!!!  In fact, his research into a surgeon, saved me having to do it 

and Dr. Belzer was the one who did my shoulder replacement!  Sadly, he just had

shoulder surgery again a few months ago.

So, baby boy, though I am often seven thousand miles from home, it will be very

sad for me, WHEN I AM HOME, not to have you there.  It's not that I need you to

haul things for me and all that, I love being able to enjoy a bottle of wine with you and

to have dinner from time to time.  I am well aware I'm getting on in years so, even

our brief rendevous are really precious to me.  I am prouder of you than you will

ever know and, though, I probably don't say it often enough, I am eternally grateful

for your kindnesses to me.  You are a fine young man and the lady that finally gets

to share your life, on a permanent basis, will be one lucky girl.

On this, your 29th birthday, I am so glad that you were born...and that my labor 

wasn't so bad at all.  I love you so much.

Mom

.Happy 31st Birthday to My Middle Son, Alexander Vukasinovic - August 27, 2013

It hardly seems possible that another year has passed and your birthday - the 31st - has 

arrived.  This has been quite a momentous year in your life.  On April 14, 2013, your 

two brothers, Shawn and Jeremy, and I ( plus several other interested parties ) were

at the Sutter Hospital Birthing Center in Roseville, CA, to welcome the arrival of my

first grandchild, the most precious Harper Ann Vukasinovic, weighing in at 8 lbs.  That

wasn't an overwhelming surprise as you weighed 8 lbs, 9 oz when you were born.

Laura was a real trooper and I was so thrilled to have a girl in a family of so many

males ( thank you for contributing the appropriate chromosone! ).

Here you are in your baptismal photo...no 

one can see the gobs of gel I put on to tame

your cowlick!!!

Here you and Laura are on your May 10, 2010

wedding day - one of the happiest of my life.

At the birthing center with your brothers, Shawn Smith, 42,

( left ) and Jeremy Vukasinovic, 28 ( right ).  For once,

everyone has a smile.

And here you are, Dad, shortly after Harper Ann's arrival

This is one of my favorite photos of you, with Harper

slung over your shoulder, sound asleep.

While you are taking your own sweet time with finishing college - is the 

major now math with a minor in economics?  I can never keep up.  You may

well graduate, finally, with more credits than any student ever has accumulated!

But the end is in sight.  

I am so proud of the young man you are.  You and Laura already bought a home

( a year before you married ), you manage an incredibly difficult work schedule and

class, and you seem to have taken on fatherhood with great ease.  You manage 

your finances in a way I never could seem to do.

On this birthday, I am in India but I will be home for Harper's first birthday,

hopefully with her Christmas stocking complete.  From 7000 miles away, 

dearest Alex, I wish you all the best life can bring.  You are well on your way

to have it.

In fact, about the only complaint I have is that you don't get on skype enough so

I can visit with my granddaughter and two granddogs.  Otherwise, you are

one terrific son.

All my love and best wishes on this birthday and every day of your life. 

Mom