Alphabe Thursday - "S" Is For Sexual Assault: Start By Believing - August 25, 2011

For twenty-one years of my professional life, I worked as a forensic nurse,
providing sexual assault services to both child and adult victims of sexual assault.

In April of 1990, the city and county of  San Francisco sent a group of nurses

to Cabrillo College in Santa Cruz, California where two pioneers in the field,

Sherry Arndt and Sandra Goldstein provided a forty hour course teaching us

the specifics of adult evidence collection and the myriad components of sexual

assault care.  We heard from advocacy, the crime lab, law enforcement, attorneys,

judges, and victims themselves.  It was all a bit overwhelming, to say the least.

What was even more overwhelming were the statistics.  On the RAINN 

( Rape and Incest National Network ) website today, I read the following:

every two minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.  60% of

sexual assaults are not reported to the police.  Approximately 2/3 of

assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.

When I began doing the work, nurses were relatively new in the business

of providing sexual assault care.  In 1992, I was one of a group of 72 nurses

that met in Minnesota to form the International Association of Forensic

Nurses.  Today that organization has over 3000 members in 24 countries!

Partly because of the work of that organization, the American Nurses

Association officially recognized forensics as an official nursing speciality

in 1995.

In spite of setting standards and ongoing education, providing care to

victims of sexual assault is still very difficult.  Why is that?  In no other area

are victims of crime treated so horribly.  A rape victim's credibility is met

with doubt when she reports.  She is often made to feel at fault  for what

happened to her.  "Why were you wearing that short skirt?"  "How come

you were out till 2AM?"  "You had HOW MANY drinks?"

There is a wonderful organization which has always been a tremendous

help to me: EVAW ( End Violence Against Women International )

http://www.evawintl.org/.  According to their website, their purpose it to

change our response to sexual violence.  EVAW International focuses on

connecting professionals and strengthening the community’s response system. 

They bring together the many diverse professionals who respond to victims of

violence against women — to communicate, share, learn — and ultimately to

strengthen the whole system by better understanding each component. All of this

collaborative work is focused on creating a more compassionate response for the

victim, a more aggressive prosecution of the perpetrator, and a more secure

environment for communities everywhere.

EVAW has mounted a new campaign called "Start By Believing"!  You may

not be aware of it but we all probably have a friend or relative, female or male

( yes, men can be raped ) who is a victim of sexual assault.  Be aware and be

enlightened.  Your support and understanding can make a world of difference

to a victim.  Check out the "Start By Believing" website at:

http://www.startbybelieving.org/ or check out their site on Facebook and do

what you can to support their efforts to stop this most violent of crimes.

I am participating in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe Thursday - check out the site and

add your post to join in!



"R" Is For Reminiscing - August 18, 2011 - Alphabe Thursday

I don't know what's the reason,

Perhaps it's change that's in the air,

But I'm feeling somewhat nostaligic,

And a sense of loss is everywhere.

Life as I've always known it,

Soon will meet a rousing end,

And I cling to certain memories,

Remembered joys, a special friend.

I sift through a thousand photos,

Holding close good times I had,

Somehow, it helps diminish thoughts,

Of any memories that were bad.

I am busy packing boxes,

Sorting out my cherished things,

Each coveted treasure that I wrap,

With it, a memory brings.

I hear the laughter of my boys,

Tumbling about in play,

That any glassware survived at all,

Is a mystery to this day!

Soon, I fly away to India,

Six months away from home,

I'm excited about this adventure,

Yet I'll be fearful, as I roam.

As one approaches seventy,

And one's body squeaks and groans,

It's harder to meet the challenges,

And face the new unknowns.

I shall manage as I've always done,

Since travel''s been good to me,

I've found the world a special place,

If you treat all with dignity.

When, once again, I find a home,

I'll have new memories to share,

I hope I can become more my old self,

And not give up in despair!

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c)August 18, 2011 by Carmen Henesy

All rights reserved.

I am participating in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe Thursday -

check out the site and join in the fun.

Alphabe Thursday - "N" Is For New Orleans - July 21, 2011

Yesterday, I said a sad farewell to Martha Meaux Genin at San Francisco International
Airport as she headed home to New Orleans.  We met in that exciting city in September
of 1962 as we began our nursing studies at Charity Hospital and we have remained
friends for nearly 50 years now.  Our two week visit passed all too quickly, in a flurry of
long hours spent catching up on life, reminiscing on "the old days", dining out all over
San Francisco and nearby cities, and just cherishing our precious time together, knowing
that we might not ever again have the opportunity to spend so many days with each
other.  Somehow, once you reach the second half of your sixties, you really do come
face to face with your mortality. 

The day Meaux arrived, we started our culinary adventures with lunch in Daly City at
a lovely, peaceful spot called the Burma Cafe.  It is decorated with my favorite animal,
elephants, and all their dishes, that I have tried, are delicious.

This was my second visit to Burma Cafe.  We had two of the dishes I'd eaten previously
 - the wonderful lamb curry and their tea leaf salad, a crunchy delight of marinated and
fermented tea leaves, lettuce, tomato, peanuts, fried onion, sesame seeds, fried broad
beans and split pea.  We also had a stir fried prawn dish that was also superb.

The second night of Meaux's stay, I took her to eat at Zingari, a wonderful Italian

restaurant at the Hotel Donatello in San Francisco and, afterwards, we got to see my

favorite piano player, Shota Osabe, and vocalist Anne O'Brien.  Both had been informed

ahead of time that my friend would be in town so Anne sang one of our nursing school

favorites, "Scotch and Soda" - I can't remember how many of those we drank during our

three years at Charity - and Shota played, "Do You Know What It Means To Miss New

Orleans", as only he can.  It was such a terrific evening!

We went up to West Sacramento for a three day visit with my middle son, Alex, and

his lovely wife, Laura, and, of course, my two granddogs.  The first day, while Alex

had classes, we met Laura's mom, Christine, at a gourmet spot called Pizza Rock, for

dinner.  That was really fun.

This pizza trio we shared was an interesting combo - the first was arugula, tomatoes,

and proscuitto, the second was a scrumptious meatball pizza and the third, a dessert

offering, had apples, brown sugar, goat cheese and a caramel glaze.  We also had a

wonderful vegetarian Neopolitan pizza.  Their menu has all sorts of unusual combos.

Here's my son, Alex, with Taffy.  All he got for dinner was pizza leftovers but the study

paid off -  he got an 87 ( B ) on his linear algebra exam!

Bucky and Taffy HATE being relegated to the rug while we eat!  They try to inch

forward but don't make it far before a stern glance sends them back.  They really are

pretty well trained dogs!

Another night, we went to dinner at Manivanh, my all time favorite restaurant

( Thai ) in San Franicsco.  It's located near San Francisco General Hospital and I don't

exaggerate when I say I've probably eaten there at least 1000 times in the past 15 years. 

The Douangpanya family, originally from Laos, who own Manivanh, are like family to me. 

I've eaten at their home, am often invited to their family gatherings and even have a dish,

"the Carmen's Special" ( I concocted it ) , named after me!

This is me with my "baby" - Jeremy will be 27 in November.  He is a Cal Poly

graduate where he was a decathlete and he constantly is trying to get me to lose a

hundred pounds and to become healthier.

Meaux is the godmother of my oldest son ( 40 ).  She was the maid of honor at my
wedding to his father and practically did all of our wedding arrangements for the event
which took place in New Orleans.  My folks lived in Georgia and Ed and I were living in
the Boston area at the time.  Guess where we honeymooned?  SAN FRANCISCO!  I've
always loved this place!

This is one of my favorites, Manivanh's duck salad and the picture below is the Carmen's Special.

This past Monday, my dear friend, Silvia Solorzano, joined me and Meaux for lunch.  We

went to San Francisco's Richmond District to India Clay Oven for their wonderful buffet. 

I should have taken more pictures there but I was too focused on the good food!

Before we headed home, Silvia took us to the most amazing place in San Francisco's

Mission District, near Mission Mental Health where she used to work.  She'd been

asking me, for years, to go see this Buddhist temple.  I was so totally suprised to see

this serene and lovely place of worship in the city's Hispanic district.  I will do a post

on it another time so I'm only going to show a picture of one of the Buddhas inside. 

The nuns and staff we so wonderful and I left there with such a sense of peace.

To end Meaux's visit, we drove to Palo Alto where she lived as a young RN.  We tried to

find her apartment, without success, but we drove to El Camino Hospital in Mountain

View where she was a pediatric RN.  Afterwards, we went back to Palo Alto for lunch at

Staits Singapore Restaurant, one of my favorite spots.  I had a ginger drop martini ( I've

since perfected their recipe and, on special occasion, make a batch of them ) and we had

a fabulous meal. 

 Entrance to Straits

All Straits restaurants have a Buddha, placed prominently.  I suppose Chris Yeo must be

Buddhist.  He certainly shows his love for the world in the fine dishes he prepares.

Tuesday night, we stayed home and planned our next get together.  Hopefully, there will

be another one.  I am still hoping to make that six month visit to India in mid-October but,

as soon as I can after I return home, I'll head to New Orleans to see Meaux.  We can't let

too much time pass between visits.  Life is too short, especially for those of us over sixty!

I am participating in Jenny Matlock's wonderful Alphabe Thursday ( though Thursday is

drawing to a close ).

Alphabe Thursday - "L" Is For Life and Love" - July 7, 2011

I must confess, I was married more than once.  Actually, I headed

to the altar several times, without success.  Finally, during a visit to

New Orleans, my pals gave me a T-shirt that said, "Husbands may

come and go but best friends last forever."  It hangs in the hallway

of my home, as a reminder that, sometimes, being single is best

( I applaud those of you who are happily married - I just never was

able to achieve that state! ).

I have now lived over sixty-six years.  I entered Charity Hospital

School of Nursing a month short of my 18th birthday and met a

fellow freshman classmate, Martha Meaux, of Lafayette, Louisiana.

She has remained one of the most important people in my life -

my closest friend - since that day.  It turned out that, my senior

year in high school, in Columbus, Georgia, I had dated her first

cousin.  Small world, huh!

We bonded immediately in nursing school though we weren't in the

same rotation.  Thankfully, that first year, we did live on the same

floor and at the same end of the hall so we spent  a good deal of time

together.  She came home with me and, during the next three years,

our friendship grew.  When I left New Orleans, six years later, I

often came back to visit and I always stayed with Martha or "Meaux",

as I called her.

I was living in Boston when I met my first husband, an Air Force officer,

from Louisiana.  We wanted to get married in New Orleans and Meaux

became my wedding planner, taking care of all the arrangements from

ordering the cake, getting the flowers, finding a place for the reception.

She met with our priest friend, Father Gerard Poche, to make sure all

was secured in that regard.  Of course, she was my maid of honor!

When my son, Shawn, was born, Meaux was his godmother and we flew

to New Orleans to have him baptized since we wanted Father Poche to 

do the honors.

Throughout the years, for the good times - and the bad - Martha has

been there for me.  I was there when she married her handsome

attorney husband and delighted in the birth of her two daughters. 

She has kept me up to date on the happenings of our classmates in

the New Orleans area and she has been my anchor in the only other

place besides GA and San Francisco where I have spent the longest

part of my life. 

To my boys, she is "Aunty Meaux" and to me, she is the ultimate in

love and friendship. 

Yesterday, forty-nine years since we first met, she arrived in San

Francisco to spend two weeks with me and, last night, we giggled

and laughed together like we were still young girls in nursing school.

Forgive me if  I'm a bit remiss in posting, responding to comments,

and handling blogging responsibilities in the next couple of weeks -

I'll be having fun with Meaux! 

I am participating in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe Thursday - check out

the site and join in the fun.



Alphabe Thursday - "J" Is For Jasmine - June 23, 2011

"J" is for jasmine,

With the loveliest smell,

It's a gift sent from nature,

To cast its sweet spell.

There are many varieties,

Some fill the night air,

Though you can't see it,

It's fragrance is there!

It's a blossom that thrives,

In tropical climes,

Cherished by women,

Since earliest times.

There's no need to lament,

Or to start feeling glum,

It's bottled in perfume,

If you lack a green thumb!

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c) 2011 by Carmen Henesy

All rights reserved.

I am participating in

Alphabe Thursday!

Check out the site and join in the fun!

Alphabe Thursday - "I" Is For India - June 16, 2011

"I" is for India,

The land of my dreams,

It's a country of contrasts,

Of the greatest extremes.

The country is huge,

Seventh land-wise, you see,

But its ranks number two,

In population density.

For all of these people,

With cultures diverse,

They have a democracy,

Working through times adverse.

 

It's the country of Gandhi,

And food wonderfully good,

There's a huge film industry,

They call "Bollywood!"

Women often wear saris,

In bright colored sheens,

They are incredibly beautiful,

As elegant as queens.

A truly breathtaking sight,

Is the magnificent Taj,

Its beauty overwhelms you,

It must be a mirage!

India is ancient,

Yet most modern, too,

From its intricate temples,

And skyscrapers new.

 

Darjeeling and Assam,

The most wonderful teas,

Both come from India,

And are sure to please.

It's a world filled with spices,

And myriad smells,

Horns noisly blaring,

And tinkling temple bells.

Elephants are painted,

In colors so bright,

For festive occasions,

They're a beautiful sight!

This country of my hearrt,

Is one all should see,

For its wonderful people,

Are true treasures to me!

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c) 2011 by Carmen Henesy

All rights reserved.

Dedicated with much affection to my Indian friends world wide!

Thanks to Bing Images for all photos!

I am participating in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe Thursday - check out the

site and join in the fun!

Alphabe Thursday - "H" Is For Hawaii - June 9, 2010

"H" is for Hawaii,

It truly is great,

This lovely island group,

Is our 50th state!

Born of volcanos,

From deep in the sea,

Each island is special,

I'm sure you'll agree.

Incredible scenery,

Mountains of green,

Breathtaking sunsets,

Like you've never seen.

Delectable seafood,

Abounds everywhere,

Exotic fruits like papaya,

And heartier fare.

Whatever you want,

It will be within reach,

From clubbing all night,

To laying on a beach!

It's a mecca for surfers,

Some born without fear,

Waves reach forty feet,

At some times of the year!

Hula dancers sway slowly,

To the beautiful tunes,

Of ukele and slack key,

Or a singer who croons.

Full of interesting history,

One can easily see,

Its cultural diversity,

Benefits you and me.

Would that all nations,

Could live side by side,

As the people of Hawaii,

Set an example world wide.

Carmen Henesy

 

( Thanks to Bing Images for all photos )

Copyright (c) 2011 by Carmen Henesy

All rights reserved.

 

 

I am participating in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe Thursday -

check it out and join in the fun!

Alphabe Thursday - "G" Is For Gasoline - June 3, 2011

"G" is for gas,

That pure liquid gold,

It's a mighty commodity,

That's bought and sold.

Governments quiver,

And live in great fear,

An error in diplomacy,

And gas won't get here.

The prices are soaring,

As I stop at the pump,

The numbers I see,

Make my blood pressure jump.

When Valentine's comes,

On roses I'll pass,

Just show me your love,

With a full tank of gas!

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c) 2011 by Carmen Henesy

All rights reserved.

I am participating in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe Thursday -

check it out and join in the fun!



Alphabe Thursday - "D" Is For Dogs - May 12, 2011

For my "D" post this week, I decided to use a poem about dogs that I wrote a few years
ago.  I love dogs  but have not been able to have one of my own in the past 23 years
because I've been a renter.  The first thing my son, Alex, did, after he and Laura bought
their home two years ago, was go to Yolo County shelter, and get a dog.  Two months
later, they went and got a second dog to keep Taffy company.  I've been so happy to
have granddogs and I am always so thrilled that, though I may not see them for a couple
of months at a time, they always seem overjoyed to see me when I visit. 

Taffy, granddog 1

Bucky, granddog 2

Dogs

Dogs come in every shape and size,

With coats both straight and curly,

Some breeds seem warm and friendly,

Others appear aloof and surly.

Dogs can be the working type,

Herding sheep or finding prey,

Others guard your hearth and home,

And some just like to play.

Often called "man's best friend,"

Dogs can fill the lonely times,

And, by their very presence,

They inhibit many crimes.

Dogs are loyal to their masters,

And love the children in their lives,

They become part of the household,

Where every member thrives.

When those warm eyes look up at you,

And the wag begins to start,

You realize this dog before you,

Is the holder of your heart!

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c) 2007 by Carmen Henesy

All rights reserved.

I am taking part in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe Thursday -

check out the site and join in the fun!!