I woke up early this morning, for some reason. This house has been eerily quiet with the three male residents away in Las Vegas for Alex's bachelor party. I never realized how much noise three testosterone filled young men can make! I guess I've just gotten used to the loud shrieks of laughter or heated debates or - heaven forbid - wrestling matches - ensuing from upstairs! I guess that's why, when Jeremy asked me if his lifelong friend, Jorell, could move in with us, I didn't bat an eye. He was almost like a son, anyway, and Alex had moved away after high school so we were a boy short in this house. Jorell's the quiet one, anyway - or, should I say, the quietest of the three. After Tuesday, when Shawn reports to Travis AFB, I won't hear his guitar strumming at all hours of the day and night. It's been part of my life as long as I can remember. Maybe I'll have to get him to make me a CD to comfort me while he's away. Uh oh, I'd better stop that or I'll be crying again. Or I'd better get all the tears done before the kids get home tomorrow night. I don't want to cry in front of Shawn.
I think I'm taking the gang to dinner at Manivanh on Monday night, just in case Shawn doesn't get back down before they deploy. It's a Thai restaurant, owned by a Laotian family, that have become friends over the last fifteen years. I'm going to write a blog about them sometime since they are truly special to me and signifigant in our lives. Every important occasion in our family has been marked by dinner there - birthdays, graduations, losses - including my job. I love the
Douangpanya family and it is only fitting that Shawn's farewell dinner be there in the midst of chicken wings, duck salad and the Carmen's Special ( I even have my own dish which is eaten by hundreds of San Franciscans! ).
I cannot believe my suitcase lies here unpacked, for over a week. I'm in some kind of state of inertia ( well, okay, laziness ). I've hardly stepped outside the house. I've not even put on eyeshadow so, of course, I cannot go anywhere. I have spent useless hours on the internet, playing FARKLE. It is pretty sad, too, since, yesterday, I had two million points and, today, I am down to one hundred. It is a good thing I am not playing for money.
I am supposed to be working on a poem to be read at the wedding reception of my son, Alex, and his lovely bride-to-be, Laura. For some reason, I have writer's block. There is so much I want to say but I need to keep it brief. I want there to be some humor but I want to convey how much I love this child and how happy I am that he chose such a wonderful girl ( oh gosh, here go the tears again - what is wrong with me? ). I've come up with random verses over the last few weeks but, did I write them down? Of course not. That would have been too smart and I'm not functioning that way these days.
My brother called yesterday from the extended care facility in Gwinnett, Georgia. He had my mom in a wheelchair, sitting outdoors in the warm sun. She is no longer going to rehab as she would not participate - I don't really think she is capable of doing so. She is so sedated, she falls asleep constantly. Sadly, that means she cannot ambulate. She did, however, feed herself the other night when Charley was there and she finished her entire meal. Apparently, the food is quite good and there is a pretty extensive menu selection which I filled out for her before I left. Charley said she loved the okra and tomatoes....good old Southern cooking!
I will see my good friend, Joanne Olivieri, poet and blogger, and fellow jazz aficionada, for an
Easter breakfast tomorrow and a consultation about publishing my first book of poems. She's just done her third book, this time on Amazon.com. It's wonderful - "Nameless Faces" - but I would expect only the best from her.
Thank you all so much for your support during this time, with my mom's illness and Shawn's imminent deployment to Afghanistan. It means so much to me.
Blessings to each and every one of you at this Easter and Passover season. May you share it with those you love.