This past Sunday, I decided to drive the hundred miles up to West Sacramento, CA to visit my middle son, Alex Vukasinovic, his lovely bride-to-be, Laura Winterhalter, and my two granddogs, Bucky and Taffy. I hadn't seen them in a couple of months and, though they will be hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the first time in their new home, I was missing them. It was actually a nice drive, for a change. Somehow, I picked a time when there wasn't much traffic and I made the trip in a little under two hours and enjoyed a book on tape.
I had taken up a piece of my china and one of my mother's to see if Laura might like to have the set of either. She took mine. I am pleased since I rarely entertain anymore and I still have eight place settings of Wedgewood Wild Strawberry as well as my mother's china if the mood hits me to pull out all stops. I'll haul up the entire set of the china she chose when I go up the day before Thanksgiving. Also, I offered Laura either my set of sterling silver or my mother's service for eight. She chose my mother's. I think it is wonderful to have these special pieces continue in our family.
Since it was such a lovely day and both of the children were off, they decided to take me to Scribner Vineyards which is where they are going to be married in May. It is about fifteen miles from their home, along the Sacramento River. As luck would have it, a wedding was taking place so we couldn't visit. Instead, I suggested we go to Bogle Vineyards, nearby, whose wines I enjoy. We were able to do some tasting and had a nice afternoon.
The vineyards are turning brown now
There are very few leaves left on the trees
Hanging on till the bitter end
Laura Winterhalter and Alex Vukasinovic
The Bogle Winery cat
The Bogle tasting room and some of its awards
Lovely reflections in the Sacramento River
Another river scene
A modern day pirate ship!
Late afternoon shadows
Back at my son's house, we played with the dogs for awhile. I just love them now since they are not at all shy around me and seem to know I'm family. Taffy always jumps right up and sleeps with me and Bucky sleeps on his pillow by my bed. Of course, if the door to Alex and Laura's room is open, they abandon me in an instant!
Alex and his dogs
Miss Taffy
Taffy and Bucky, wrestling with the ball
Bucky
Pensive puppy
Whose ball is it, anyway?
Bucky
Feeding frenzy
For dinner, we decided to try out a new restaurant in downtown Sacramento - Tapas the Town. We opted to share assorted tapas, rather than have a main course. All of them were very good but the wine prices were really outrageous! The corkage fee to bring your own was fifteen dollars so we just drank water and went home to drink our wine! It kills me that so many California restaurants charge such high prices for wines that are grown right in their own back yards. There was a very good Spanish guitarist which really added to the ambiance.
Me with Chris Rumble, Alex and Laura's delightful housemate
Some of the decorations at Tapas the Town
Laura and Alex
Carmen Henesy, Laura Winterhalter, Alex Vukasinovic
This gentleman played wonderful Spanish guitar for our enjoyment
I might not be online for the next few days! I fly out of San Francisco at 6AM tomorrow. Will spend tomorrow night at the Hyatt Regency Miami so I can eat at one of my favorite spots in the world, Tutto Pasta, a great little restaurant, with an Italian flair. The chef and owner, Joao Carlos
Olivera is actually from Brazil and his creations are unbelievable. I discovered this place years ago when I was cruising out of Miami and we've become friends. I never miss a chance to eat here! I'll have dinner there Wednesday night and probably lunch and dinner Thursday - though I must try his new restaurant and club, Zuccero, as well.
Friday, I am going to be the guest of Royal Caribbean in a balcony cabin on a two day cruise to nowhere on their new ship, the Oasis of the Seas. I was allowed to take one guest with me so a forensic nurse friend will be joining me. Its national debut will be on Good Morning American from 7 - 9A on Friday, November 20, 2009. We board a few hours later! It is very exciting to be among the first guests to sail on this mega ship, and for free! Even our drinks and gratuities are included. Thank you, Royal Caribbean. I have loved every one of my cruises with this company the past 14-1/2 years and this one proves to be just as wonderful!
Today, I am posting the second poem I wrote which has to do with India. India's national bird is the peacock ( Pavo cristatus ). The male of the species is much more elegant than the female, swan-sized, with its royal blue breast and neck and its bronze-green train of more than two hundred feathers. It is an awesome sight when he extends his tail out like a fan as he does in his mating ritual, trying to impress his lady love.
The female peahen, on the other hand,is slightly smaller, and does not have the beautiful train.
The peacock is found in many areas of the Indian subcontinent. Once used for food, it is now protected by the Indian Wildlife (Protection) Act, 1972. Under the law, tail feathers may be collected only when they have been shed.
Peacocks are associated with many religions and spiritual beliefs and are often depicted in paintings representing such. Lord Krishna's crown always has peacock feathers.
Indians credit peacocks with the ability to predict rain. When dark clouds gather overhead, the bird does, indeed, spread its train, fan-like, and begin to do a rhythmic dance.
For more detailed information, please refer to the following links below.
Tomorrow, I was supposed to be leaving for India. It is a country that I have grown to love. Over the last fifteen years of cruising with Royal Caribbean, I have made so many friends among the crew, from various parts of that country, that I am affectionately known by many, as their "American mother."
I met Ode Santos, a bartender in the Champagne Bar, on the Monarch of the Seas, shortly after I boarded in San Juan, Puerto Rico for my first cruise with Royal Caribbean. He quickly became a dear friend and, less than two years later, I spent ten days as a guest at his home in Mumbai. I was treated like a visiting dignitary by everyone in his family - and by other crew members who were home on vacation while I was there. The highlight of the trip was a journey to Agra with his mother where we visited the Taj Mahal, a place I had dreamed about but never thought I would actually see. It was an incredible experience.
Since that time, my Indian "family" has grown to huge numbers and I have been promising to return, hoarding frequent flyer miles to make the trip. I have tried, on several occasions, to schedule a flight but seats were unavailable. Finally, I found three weeks from November 15 until December 10th and I eagerly scheduled my trip. Unfortunately, my mother's failing health necessitated a change in my plans. With the three weeks I just spent in Georgia and the financial strain that imposed, plus the lack of time to prepare for the trip and arrange my visa, yesterday, I had the airline replace the frequent flyer miles in my account ( at the cost of $100! ). I was in tears as I spoke to the KLM agent. I have to write to all my Indian friends today. I was going to many places throughout the country, staying at people's home during my entire stay.
I pray that I will still make the trip in the future. What was so nice about these dates is that many of my crew friends were going to be on vacation at this time, making it even more wonderful for me. Also, the annual release date for "The Eternity Magazine," a beautiful publication that is a forum for writers and poets globally, focusing on spirituality, peace, and the environment, is to be released in Mumbai this month. Its editor, Harekrushna Mahanta, had planned for me to be there as a visiting guest poet from the United States., along with a Mumbai film director for media coverage of the event. It would have been such an honor.
I've written two poems about India. One I'll post today, called, "The Taj Mahal." I wish I could find the beautiful professional pictures that were taken there. I have searched so many times for them. They have never turned up although I know I brought them home with me. I cannot even put into words my feelings when I first saw the beauty of this incredible place!
The Taj Mahal
Agra, India
( photo courtesy of weforanimals.com )
The Taj Mahal
An architectural treasure,
A tribute to true love,
It almost seems to glow,
From a full moon above.
Made of pure white marble,
Mumtaz Mahal lies here,
With Emperor Shah Jahan,
Resting very near.
Such overwhelming beauty,
Reflected in its pool.
Its minarets standing guard,
Over India's treasured jewel.
Built on the River Yumana,
The Taj is an exquisite sight,
Symbolic of love for centuries,
Inspiring poets to write.
Carmen Henesy
Copyright (c) 2008 by Carmen Henesy
All rights reserved.
Today is the last day of the first "Forensic Nurse Week" ever. It will take place annually the second week of November. This is very exciting for all of us in the profession. When I began working in the field in July of 1987, we were not even officially recognized as a specialty in nursing!
Many people are completely unaware of forensic nursing. Just what is it? I will share with you this definition directly from my organization, the International Association of Forensic Nurses, of which I was a founding member ( www.iafn.org ):
"Forensic Nursing is the application of nursing science to public or legal proceedings; the application of the forensic aspects of health care combined with the bio-psycho-social education of the registered nurse in the scientific investigation and treatment of trauma and/or death of victims and perpetrators of abuse, violence, criminal activity and traumatic accidents.
The forensic nurse provides direct services to individual clients, consultation services to nursing, medical and law related agencies, and expert court testimony in areas dealing with trauma and/or questioned death investigative processes, adequacy of services delivery, and specialized diagnoses of specific conditions as related to nursing."
Also, the International Association of Forensic Nurses has listed the various areas in which forensic nurses work:
I came into the field as the result of an accident. I had previously worked in psychiatry, both adult and child, or the operating room, alternating between the two. After a fall in the OR, which resulted from slipping on hydraulic fluid that had leaked from an orthopedic table, which ultimately resulted in my having extensive back surgery and being disabled for a year and a half, my surgeon felt it would be unsafe for me to resume OR duties or to work in psychiatry. The Child and Adolescent Sexual Abuse Resource Center was advertising for an on call RN to cover cases and I applied. The rest is history.
When the city decided to train nurses to do adult sexual abuse exams, which was a half time position with benefits, I applied and was hired there, also retaining my on call work for CASARC. I found the work very exciting and exacting and my colleagues in the profession were always willing to help, in any way possible.
While there were programs of sexual assault nurse examiners in the U. S. since 1976, it was not until 1992 that 72 nurses met in Minneapolis, MN, called together by Linda E. Ledray, RN, Ph.D., SANE-A, FAAN, Director, SANE-SART Resource Service, MMRF, Minneapolis, Minnesota. It is the only time in my life that I was in the right place at the right time.
We spent two days, and long into the night, deciding on our name, our goals, and talked about our dreams. I recall, fondly, staying up almost until dawn, in the University of Minnesota dorm, with the pioneers in forensic nursing, such as Ann Burgess, Virginia Lynch, and Pat Speck and many more - 72 of us. We agreed to hold an annual scientific assembly and set a date for our next meeting, to be held in my own home state of California.
Just a few years later, the American Nurses Association recognized forensic nursing as an official specialty and, not long after, our newly established forensic nursing certification board offered the first specialty exam for adult sexual assault nurse examiner certification. I very anxiously sat for that exam and proudly was able to write SANE-A, after the RN following my name.
At our scientific assembly in 1996, when our founding president, Virginia Lynch, handed over the gavel, I read a poem, "The Forensic Nurse" that I had written to honor her and all of my colleagues inf our International Association of Forensic Nurses. This specialty and that membership in IAFN has been the most wonderful aspect of my nursing career. It has defined me as a nurse professional and I feel I have done the most good in this specialty for an often overlooked population. I would encourage all nurses to consider forensic nursing as their area of specialization
On this last day of our first ever Forensic Nurse Week, I want to say thank you to so many. I won't and can't name you all personally but you know who you are - my wonderful colleagues and mentors, friends and fellow forensic nurses who have been there for me, every step of the way for my entire twenty-two years in the field. I am blessed to have had you in my life. I thank God daily for putting me in the right place at the right time! May you all continue in the work with great blessings.
The Forensic Nurse
At the dawn of a new millennium, there has evolved a need,
For a new group of nurse professionals, a pioneering breed,
On the cutting edge of nursing, to fight crime's vicious curse,
Health care responds to violence, in the role of forensic nurse.
The tasks are many and varied, each sharing a common thread,
A search for truth and justice as this specialty forges ahead.
Fighting interpersonal violence, making note of multiple clues,
Learning to hear the unspoken, recognizing the tiniest bruise.
A commingling of nursing science, forensic science and the law,
From this vast wealth of knowledge, the forensic nurse must draw,
From sociology, and psychology, criminology and fields diverse,
An arsenal of such education, arms the forensic nurse.
Easing the trauma of rape, responding to a criminal scene,
Compassionate notification of kin, judging nothing as routine,
Dealing with drug and alcohol abuse, calling for a hearse,
Providing care for inmates, these are roles of the forensic nurse.
Facilitating organ donation, expert witness testimony in court,
Investigating work place injuries, writing a medicolgeal report,
Assisting in forensic research, providing specialized quality care,
Educating and consulting with colleagues, making the public aware.
From birth to death, and far beyond, there is a difference made,
By nurses who have undertaken to embrace a new crusade,
In the fight against crime and violence, helping in its reverse,
Is the commitment and dedication of the forensic nurse.
Carmen Henesy
Dedicated to founding president, Virginia Lynch,
and my colleagues
of the
International Association of Forensic Nurses
Copyright (c) 1996 by Carmen Henesy
All rights reserved.
It was a very long and tedious journey back to San Francisco. I said goodbye to my mother about 5:15PM yesterday and drove to my friend, Luther's, home to drop off the truck he had so generously lent me during my stay in Columbus ( he and Beth are off on a New York holiday. There, I said farewell to his lovely daughter, Jennifer, who had given me a second outstanding massage on Tuesday, and made my way to the Muscogee County Municipal Airport, compliments of Tommy Wommack, friend of the Stanton's ( who has become my friend in the past week - he may not feel that way anymore after lugging my immensely heavy suitcases! ). My hometown airport was almost deserted - no police officers shooing you away from the front curb, hardly any passengers milling about and, certainly, no skycaps to assist with luggage. Dear Tommy, ever the hero, hoisted those bags yet again! After an hour's wait on the tarmac, we finally set off into heavy thunderclouds for the short flight to Atlanta. I made my next connection with ease, to a full flight, where I was smashed against the window in a three seat row with a sweet baby who cried intermittently. I am an aisle person so I was miserable being hemmed in. But, at long last, the trip ended and my oldest son, Shawn, nobly came to SFO to fetch his mom.
I still have some final photos of Columbus to post and the long overdue Europe birthday pictures which now seems an eternity ago.
In the meantime, here's one of my favorite poems.
Clothes
I'm a girl of big proportions, So I hate to shop at all, The clothes they make to fit me, Are the worst things in the mall.
In my youth, I was much different, Slim and quite the girl, I wore the cutest outfits, Which gave the guys a whirl!
Now I look for baggy clothes, That hide my ample frame, I can't wear stylish outfits, So i hang my head in shame.
I look at sexy lingerie, And think of way back when, When Victoria had no secret, I was really thin.
My sons encourage exercise, And tell me not to eat, They say that if I listen, One day I'll see my feet!
Now I shop for earrings, Since whether thin or fat, They will always fit me, Thank my lucky stars for that
Today is Veteran's Day in the United States. I am an Army "brat." My father was a second lieutenant at Ft. Benning, Georgia when he met my mother. They divorced many years later and my mother remarried. When my stepfather retired, he was a full colonel in the Infantry and had served three tours of duty in VietNam. My son, Shawn, is an Air Force reservist for fifteen years now. He repairs computer systems for the C5 and C15 aircraft.
My prayer is for world peace. I would hope that none of my three sons ever has to be involved in a war and that no mother ever loses a son or daughter to conflict anywhere in the world. Why can't we learn to negotiate and settle our problems in a civilized manner? Why don't we teach our children, from their earliest years, better ways of handling conflict? As a nurse, I look at those sweet babies in the newborn nursery, lying there next to each other, without a shred of hatred or animosity in their minds and ask myself, why can't it always be that way?
The following is not a happy poem. It is an all too cold reality that takes place every day. I am posting it on this Veteran's Day with my prayers for every single person who has lost their life in service to this country and for all the families who have suffered and continue to suffer without their loved ones.
Rest in Peace
He was such a precious child,
Fair haired with eyes of blue,
Always into everything,
With laughter bubbling through.
Everybody loved him,
He just had that special way,
Of making it seem sunny,
On a cloudy, rainy day.
He'd always help another,
When things would go awry,
So all of us were saddened,
The day he said goodbye.
His unit reached Iraq,
And was only there a week,
When his mother got the news,
Of which she couldn't speak.
A roadside bomb exploded,
He lay in a pool of red,
His blood slowly oozing,
A paramedic pronounced him dead.
Friendships are color blind - for what color has a soul? That is what true friendship is to me. The sharing of two souls, forget the color of the skin that houses them! Friends embrace, support, laugh and cry together, they know when to speak up, when it is best to sit quietly and listen. It matters not whether our friends live in a villa atop some scenic hillside in Tuscany, in a ghetto fourth floor apartment in Harlem, or are seeking tranquility at an ashram in India. Ethnicity and skin color, gender, education or income are not indicators or prerequisites for friendship and should not be determinants for those who fulfill this role in our lives.
We bring into a friendship the experiences that shape us, our cultural backgrounds, the tidbits of wisdom from our family patriarchs and matriarchs. For some, there are rare opportunities to make friends with others outside our immediate social cirlce. We spend our entire lives never going beyond these boundaries and extending the bonds of friendship to those of another race.
Others are blessed to explore the world beyond their immediate spheres and, in so doing, make friends of other races. In areas of mutliple ethnicities, this is so easy. Children are born without prejudices and, unless they learn it from the adults around them, they play happily side by side, begin school together, and grow up sharing customs, holidays, foods, and friendships.
The world of the internet has been instrumental in initiating many interracial and international friendships. For some, it is difficult to get out in their communities and online communication has been a wonderful medium for sharing lives and battling loneliness. It has been the stimulus for inspiring people to learn more about cultures different from their own and eliminating some of the anxiety one might feel about the unknown. Staying in touch with friends has become easier, from any part of the world.
I strongly believe in that old adage, "To have a friend, be a friend." Sometimes that means taking a risk, giving more than fifty percent. Over a lifetime, friends come and go as our needs and interests change. A true friend, however, is one that is there forever and a treasure to cherish and love, from the inside out. I relate to the heart of the person, not to the color of their skin. That being said, I cherish many hearts that are housed in ethnicities of the world.
