Before the Wedding - the Rehearsel Dinner

After a long year of anticipation, it hardly seems possible that the wait is over and I'm a mother-in-law.  I loved this year's Mother's Day card from Alex and Laura:

What can I say, the wedding was the most beautiful I've ever attended.  I admit to a certain amount of predjudice, of course.  I'll be posting some pictures.

Elmira ( the wonderful lady, without whom I could not have raised my boys since being a sexual assault nurse examiner for the city and county of San Francisco meant having to leave home at every hour of the day and night and never knowing when one would return! ) and I left for Sacramento about 11AM on Thursday, May 6, 2010, an incredibly beautiful sunny day and made the trip in two hours.  We went first to Laura and Alex's home so I could see my granddogs. 

Taffy and Bucky seemed to sense that something was in the air.  While everyone paid attention to them, they were clearly not the top priority as they usually are!

Bucky looks a little sad in this photo!  Even though his Uncle Jeremy and beautiful Katie would be staying with them when Alex and Laura spent their wedding night at a nice Sacramento hotel.

Taffy decided to give Mommy's face a lick for good measure....ummm, this makeup tastes good!

Since the boys were off to pick up their tuxedos, we girls thought we should find a place for lunch.  Laura just couldn't sit still, anyway.  We headed to downtown Sacramento and Ma Jong's.  The rest of the city seemed to have the same idea since it was pretty crowded. 

Here I am with beautiful Laura - you can see how lucky Alex is!

Here are Elmira, Katie ( Jeremy's lovely girlfriend ) and Laura

Carmen and Elmira

Laura and Katie

Laura's Thai basil chicken chow fun ( she didn't eat very much! )

Ma's eggplant with shrimp ( I had no problem finishing mine! )

Elmira chose Shanghai noodle soup ( there was plenty of this left over )

We dropped Laura off at home, then headed to the Hampton Inn in Elk Grove to take a little nap and get ready for the rehearsel dinner which was held at Bucca de Beppo in Sacramento.  Laura's great aunt and grandmother were at the hotel so we all had a cup of tea together before nap time.  My brother, Charley, and his wife, Susan, had arrived from Atlanta, much to my delight so Alex would have some family on his side at the wedding.  I really appreciated their making the trip. 

We had a great evening at Bucca de Beppo.  The menu was incredible and there was so much food and myriad dishes - gnocchi, eggplant parmagiana, some sort of linguini, ribs - I can't remember it all.  The wines we chose were excellent - Chateau St. Jean chardonnay and an Italian blend I still can't remember - sangiovese, merlot and cabernet that got a Best Buy and a 90 in the Wine Spectator.  

The wedding party opened their gifts from the bride and groom-to-be and we left filled with happiness and good wishes for this lovely couple.

 Laura and Alex

Trudi, Laura's grandmother

Mandy, Laura's maid of honor

Christine, Laura's mother

I can't remember if this lovely young lady's name is Lani or Nani!

Jeremy ( the groom's brother ) and his lovely girlfriend, Katie

Alex with Susan Henesy, his aunt from Georgia

Collin, reading his card

Laura, Alex and Elmira

Tomorrow I'll post the shots of the wedding.  I'm hoping to get permission from some of the other relatives, who took incredible pictures, to use them in my blog.  Not only did I get a beautiful daughter from this marriage, I now have an extended family which is so wonderful for me.  Aside from my brother, Charley and my sister-in-law ( she's really more like a sister ), a half brother, John, and an aunt Jane, both of whom we rarely see, the Henesy clan is very short on family.  It is wonderful to have met so many great folks to whom Laura is related. 

Last Weekend in Georgia

My two youngest sons, Alex and Jeremy, flew to Atlanta last weekend to see their grandmother. I think they were fearful, if they did not, they might not see her again alive. Alex ( 27 ) brought his lovely fiance, Laura, and Jeremy ( 25 ) brought his girlfriend, Katie. Neither of them had ever met the boy's grandmother before. For me, after two weeks of dealing with my mother's stroke and cardiac problem, it meant a great deal to have them there. I picked them up at the airport, then we stopped by the extended care facility to see my mother. She seemed to recognize her grandsons but she was so tired, we did not stay long. We then drove down to Columbus where the children ( hard to call two strapping 6'4" boys "children" ) helped me finish dismantling things at my mother's house. The following day, when my brother came down with a rental truck, they loaded up furniture and we said farewell to my home town and headed back to Atlanta.

On Sunday, we returned to Gwinnett Extended Care and Grandma seemed in better spirits. She actually called her grandsons by name and responded to their banter and talked about the "pretty girls" with them. Laura showed "Grandma" her engagement ring which actually had belonged to my mother. It was all a very emotional time for me. We took pictures, of course, and, all too soon, it was time to take them to the airport.

The following day, when I visited my mother, she said, "You know, Carmen, Alex and Jeremy came yesterday with their pretty girls. It made me happy."

Since that time, my mother has had more bad days than good. The day I left to return to San Francisco, I could not even wake her up to say goodbye. At least, though, I know she is in the best place she can be and, a few times, she did know who I was and called me by name. It makes me feel good that that the visit of her grandsons afforded her some happiness.

Alex, Jeremy, Carmen and Mary Quinlan

Jeremy, Katie, and Grandma

Laura, Alex and Grandma

My boys and their girls, Laura and Katie, my brother, Charley, and his wife, Susan, my crazy nephew, Matt, who never takes a picture without making a face, and his girlfriend, Stephanie

Laura, Alex ( wearing his shirt I got at the Piazza Navonna in Rome ), Jeremy and Katie

The Homeless

I don't know if homelessness is much of a problem in the areas where you live but, increasingly,

the numbers continue to rise in San Francisco.  Partly due to a temperate climate with winter temperatures that seldom fall down to freezing, people flee west when blizzards begin to pound the eastern seaboard.

The National Alliance for Homelessness announced, earlier this year, that, because of the

recession, there will be an estimated 1.5 million people made homeless during the next two

years.  To me, those are terrifying numbers.  We are not talking about the chronic homeless -

those who suffer with mental health issues or addiction and have been on the streets for a year -

but I am talking about the "new" homeless.  These are people, many of them with college

degrees, who held good jobs that have ended because of the recession, who never would have

expected to find themselves in this type of situation. 

Sadly, the number of families experiencing homelessness has increased. San Francisco has the highest per capita rate of homelessness -- nearly 1 for every 100 residents -- of any major U.S. city.  As many as 40% of San Francisco's homeless population is part of a homeless family.  Needless to say, there are not enough resources in the city to accomodate the needs of this many people.  Hamilton Family Center is one of the largest providers of shelter, eviction prevention assistance, rapid rehousing, youth programming, and support services to homeless families in San Francisco.

Today, as I was driving in the city, I saw so many homeless people, more so than usual, it seemed.  I felt so sad, wondering what sort of Christmas they might have had.  While I don't usually give money to people asking for handouts on the street, I do keep bottled water in my car and boxes of trail mix and protein bars to give out.  Having lost my job in February, with a huge drop in income with my retirement, I know how quickly one's financial status can plummet. 

I am just grateful I had a half time retirement income and social security to collect.  It isn't enough to pay my rent if my housemates leave but I'll just have to find a cheaper place to live then.  Hopefully, I won't have to be homeless.

For those of us who can, please make a donation to your local homeless shelters.  So many of them have lost funding and have limited resources.  Some of them need donations such as food, blankets, and toiletries.

When I came home tonight, I found a poem I wrote a couple of years ago.  Here it is

 The Homeless

I pray that I will never be,

Oblivious to those distraught,

That I will never pass them by, 

Without a glance or thought.

I see the tattered homeless,

Who have no food to eat,

Problems seem insurmountable,

To those mired in defeat.

I do not know the circumstance,

That led them to this fate,

Yet I'm aware it's possible,

We all could reach this state.

I'm saddest most at children,
Who haven't any toys,
Huddled with homeless parents,
They lack all the childhood joys.

We can help in different ways,

By trying to ease the pain,

Making sure we treat the homeless,

With empathy, not disdain.

Carmen Henesy

Copyright (c) 2007 by Carmen Henesy
All rights reserved.